So check it rude boy...there I was doing silly little things like trying to get my very first blog going when I really should have been boarding the flight to Kolkata.
Rosanne suggested that I run to get that special little gift from Swarovski that I had been eyeing for a very special person.
I ran down to the Swarovski but, as usual, the saleswoman was nowhere to be found. I was about to leave (the repeated announcements were finally making me feel guilty), she turned up.
Luckily for me the wife had already picked out the object d'art so I saved a lot of time there. Unfortuantely, I made the mistake of asking the salewoman if she could gift-wrap it for me. "Can I?" she replied, and the next thing you know she's painstakingly creating the most beautifully wrapped thing I have ever seen.
I rush up the escalator, run down the hallway, grab the wife, and make it to the gate...and yup, all the passengers are through to the waiting area.
The airline employee looks at us sadly, checks our boarding passes, asks us to wait for a second, and then scribbles something on our passes.
Typical, I thought to myself, after all, you were late for your Cute Little American Wedding, it would make sense for me to continue that trend with My Big Fat (Outsourced) Bengali Wedding.
The woman handed our modified boarding passes back to us and I was already preparing to have to start getting in touch with the family back home to deliver the bad news. I was starting walk away when she curtly asked me where I was going.
Well, I told her sadly, I need to tell my parents when the next flight is coming in.
Why would you need to do a thing like that, she asked me rather bemused by this whole sordid affair, when this flight is wait for you to grace it with your presence.
And, she added, if you hurry up you might even get the hotel towel service that comes standard with the business class I upgraded your wife and you to. Have a happy Indian wedding.
And the next thing you know, the wife and I were sipping Moet & Chandon Brut Imperial champagne and Paul Jaboulet Aine Crozes Hermitage 'Les Jalets' wine respectively; nibbling on ginger glazed lobster and crab meat appetizers; using real silverware from Arthur Price of England; then moving on to lamb cutlets served on Turkish cotton linens; finishing with an international cheeseboard, a hot plumb crumble, crudites, Barros Porto Colheita Duoro Region single-vintage tawny port; and, finally, a fully reciling, privacy-shielded comfort-bed.
Hmm...maybe I could get used to this whole Emirates thing!
Now excuse me, I think they might be offering me an off-menu camembert...