Saturday, February 17, 2007

17 Feb 2007; 2100 EST; ATL (Atlanta Airport)


Rosanne and I are back in the USA!

We are currently stuck in Atlanta airport and should be back in LA at around midnight tonight.

Watch this space for exciting developments...

Monday, January 22, 2007

1/22/2007 - 2119 (IST) - Kolkata

I am at a Reliance Web World Internet cafe.

I got here at 8:09 pm, the store selling wireless access cards for laptops closed at 8 pm. Great.

So I have been trying to post to the blog from one of the terminals, and it's been slow mostly because I am mad tired and I love to procrastinate.

Since I left some time ago without a mobile phone, and told Didu that I was going to be gone for a little bit, I supposed I should get home. I'll finished uploading the pictures tomorrow perhaps.

Quick Hits from the Day That Was:

- My aunt (Mashi) arrived from the UK this morning. It's always fun having her around.
- Rosanne spent the night quite comfortably at Potu Mesho's place. She was able to spend some time with Anannya Mashi, which was nice.
- I was woken up by my cousin (Papia) and her boy (Spandan) - my nephew! Unfortunately, Spandan did not quite take to his absentee uncle (me...Mama), which was a little sad. Therefore, I tried to ply him with a little Googler T-shirt. No luck. Ma, on the other hand, he responds to like a fish to water. I have decided to nickname him 'Speedo.' Cute kid. He definitely brings a calming influence on Papia.
- Rosanne was treated to an in-home facial and massage. What about me?!
- Anannya Mashi sent over about six kinds of fish for lunch. You have to be very careful about telling her what you like (no matter how innocently she might pose the question to prompt that answer)...invariably, mass quantities of what you like will show up at your doorstep.
- The whole city is buzzing about Sourav Ganguly's return to form (98 against the West Indies yesterday in Nagpur). Of course, Sourav being Sourav was too "cramped" to take the field when it was India's time to bowl.
- Rosanne spent the day with Baba going to get food from cookie jar. She then went with him to Regent Park to visit Mummum, and the bank. After which, she accompanied the rest of the family shopping.
- People at the Reliance Web World are VOIP-ing internationally, engaging in distance learning, and watch cricket video highlights.
- Rose has put on a lot of weight...a LOT of weight.
- Ma, on the other hand, has lost weight. Good for her.
- I slept.

Quick Hits About the Wedding:

- The florist did not like what the wedding decorator was doing and wanted her fired.
- Baba caused some controversy when he asked for the wedding videographer's sample reel.
- Wedding invitations were still being sent out.
- No word on whether the travel agent has finished the rest of the bookings.

I should really get home. I am sure that after being gone for an hour without really explaining what I was going to do with my time must be causing my family to have any number of panic attacks. Obviously, going out accompanied at the age of 31 in the city of my birth will cause anyone to have panic attacks right?

2/22/2007 - 0230 IST [GMT +05:30] - Calcutta...sorry...Kolkata, India

BTW, after all the grief and effort that has gone into our internal India travels (which still has not been finished fully), I saw a billboard for a travel agency specializing in group tours around India...on the first floor of Didu's building!

Now that, my friends, truly is the right start to My Big Fat (Outsourced) Bengali Wedding.

2/22/2007 - 0204 IST [GMT +05:30] - Calcutta...sorry...Kolkata, India

As I sit here late at night at the one place I do consider home in all the world, the only thing that enters my mind is that I am so tired at this point that I cannot feel the emptiness that usually follows a Marat Safin loss (of course, the Indian cricket team did win today...but I have long steeled myself against their sporadic highs, so I won't get sucked into their prolonged lows).

The good thing about being in Business Class was that we got out early and made it to the front of the immigration line. All the time we saved was negated by the fact that (a) the luggage conveyor belt was so old, that they had to step every few minutes to offload bags so as not to break the safe operating weight limit; and (b) our bags were the last to arrive.

It was great to see my father (Baba), mother (Ma) and especially my paternal grandmother (Mummum) make it out to receive us. My indomitable Mummum may have slowed down a wee bit recently, but she still has that terrific fortitude intact.

The ride back was not as dramatic for the wife (Rosanne) as it was so dark. Luckily Ma, Baba and Mummum were able to satisfy her natural curiousity about the motherland in a way that I would not have been able to without having instant access to wikipedia.

It was great being back at my maternal grandmother's (Didu) place (7 Bondel Road...Bondel for short). It is obvious that Didu has become very lonely recently with the death of her siblings, but it was nice to see that she has improved from the last time I saw her. My parents' dog (Rose) was the same - a loveable little ball of enery. I don't think I have ever seen a friendlier and sweeter dog before, and since they've had her since she was a tiny little puppy, I have no doubt that she seems them as her parents.

The welcome home dinner was exactly what I had been dreaming about. Didu's luchi, begoon bhaja, dhokla, daal, and especially her incredible prawn malai curry (with giant prawns) hit the spot. Of course, the opened Blue Label helped things along as well. Didu has made her famous narkul naru, and had the box of kheer kodoms waiting for me from the Saeed Anwar Road branch of Mithai.

Things just could not get better.

Since it was not a done thing for Rosanne to be sleeping under the same roof with me, we dropped her at my cousin's place. They had finished it since I saw it last and it looked amazing. My uncle (Potu Mesho) was his usual welcoming self, as were my sweet not-so-little-anymore cousin (Anargha) and wife (Sonya). Anargha had picked the original artwork himself and I was more than a little surprised at his keen eye and eclectic taste. There was a painting of Jesus that was truly breathtaking, and one of the most intriguing pieces of art I had seen up close in a while. Sonya had picked out most of the furniture, including buying traditionally Bengali pieces like those old wooden window shutters (I've always loved those), cupboards, mirrors and such. She had desinged the latticed grill-work to also mimic the traditional Bengali style. She had designed, sketched and gotten made a lot of the more interesting pieces. Of course, the most important thing about these two 23-year-olds is their precocious 2-year-old daughter Raina, who was fast asleep, as was their mother, and my one-of-a-kind aunt (Anannya Mashi). Poor Anannya Mashi had been suffering from food poisoning,

Since Baba had to get up early to receive my mother's sister (Mashi) at the airport, we left. Rosanne was going to stay the night with them. When Ma asked if there was water available for her, she was informed that Potu Mesho had already left instructions for a case of mineral water, which had been bought and put on ice for her.

I tell you...there really is nothing like a Bengali family.

Of course, this is just the beginning of the whole thing...ask me again how I feel about them in two weeks!

1/21/2007...1300 [GMT +4:00]...Emirates EK 548...Business Class

So check it rude boy...there I was doing silly little things like trying to get my very first blog going when I really should have been boarding the flight to Kolkata.

Rosanne suggested that I run to get that special little gift from Swarovski that I had been eyeing for a very special person.

I ran down to the Swarovski but, as usual, the saleswoman was nowhere to be found. I was about to leave (the repeated announcements were finally making me feel guilty), she turned up.

Luckily for me the wife had already picked out the object d'art so I saved a lot of time there. Unfortuantely, I made the mistake of asking the salewoman if she could gift-wrap it for me. "Can I?" she replied, and the next thing you know she's painstakingly creating the most beautifully wrapped thing I have ever seen.

I rush up the escalator, run down the hallway, grab the wife, and make it to the gate...and yup, all the passengers are through to the waiting area.

The airline employee looks at us sadly, checks our boarding passes, asks us to wait for a second, and then scribbles something on our passes.

Typical, I thought to myself, after all, you were late for your Cute Little American Wedding, it would make sense for me to continue that trend with My Big Fat (Outsourced) Bengali Wedding.

The woman handed our modified boarding passes back to us and I was already preparing to have to start getting in touch with the family back home to deliver the bad news. I was starting walk away when she curtly asked me where I was going.

Well, I told her sadly, I need to tell my parents when the next flight is coming in.

Why would you need to do a thing like that, she asked me rather bemused by this whole sordid affair, when this flight is wait for you to grace it with your presence.

And, she added, if you hurry up you might even get the hotel towel service that comes standard with the business class I upgraded your wife and you to. Have a happy Indian wedding.

And the next thing you know, the wife and I were sipping Moet & Chandon Brut Imperial champagne and Paul Jaboulet Aine Crozes Hermitage 'Les Jalets' wine respectively; nibbling on ginger glazed lobster and crab meat appetizers; using real silverware from Arthur Price of England; then moving on to lamb cutlets served on Turkish cotton linens; finishing with an international cheeseboard, a hot plumb crumble, crudites, Barros Porto Colheita Duoro Region single-vintage tawny port; and, finally, a fully reciling, privacy-shielded comfort-bed.

Hmm...maybe I could get used to this whole Emirates thing!

Now excuse me, I think they might be offering me an off-menu camembert...

Sunday, January 21, 2007

1/21/2007...12:30 pm....DXB

It's 12:30 pm Dubai local time.

Do I have the heart to wake Rosanne up (poor thing is exhausted and fell right asleep while sitting next to me) and tell her that while I have been uploading the latest posts to this blog they have repeatedly been announcing that our flight has been ready to board for quite some time now.

Decisions...Decisions

1/20/2007...7:00 pm PST... Somewhere over a place way too clost to the Neutral Zone

Wow, if I squint real hard I can see Qatar... it's been years since I've been home.

1/20/2007...6:00 pm PST... Somewhere over Beirut(!)

I think the woman in the seat in front of me has watched "Little Miss Sunshine" 3 times in a row

because she doesn't know how to use the system!

Growin up I remembering hearing that when Dubai broke away from Gulf Air and launched Emirates,

they were the ones to really pioneer the individual entertainment syster. Finally, after many, many years

of hearing about it, I finally got to experience it and it almost makes the whole thing worth it.

The only thing missing is what Delta had - the ability to add specific tracks to a playlist which you could

manipulate later.

Emirates ICE:
I - Information (about the flight [with cameras, maps, etc.]; about the airlines; about Dubai; and more)
C - Communications (everything from SMS, email and WiFi [only on their airbus flights - dang])
E - Entertainment (700 movies; 6,000 songs; 100 games; 500 TV shows - and it's all on demand)

Something tells me that the other ICE (a lame business acronym which I am under a very strict NDA not

to indulge) has nothing on listening to Meat Loaf while playing Wing Commander and watching the sun

rise over the Arabian Gulf.

1/20/2007...5:27 pm PST... Somewhere over Isparta

Emirates...packed in like g*d-da*n bl**dy sardines. I don't even have any space to use my laptop! I

hate Jason Kachel who decided to do the sensible thing and fly Singapore Airlines even though it costs a

tad bit more.

Da*n you Kachel....da*n you and the ample legroom; fabulous

1/20/2007...4:30 pm PST... Somewhere over Bulgaria

Emirates...stars in the sky.

No really, Emirates Airlines has little glow-in-the-dark stars embedded in the ceiling of their airplane as well as some soft blue mood lighting.

Must...resist...the...urge...to...fall...asleep...through...Meat Loaf...

1/20/2007...4:30 pm PST... Somewhere over Bulgaria

Poor Rosanne, she spilled hot coffee all over herself. Sadder still is that since there is so little place to

move. I told her I was sorry, and she very sweetly said it wasn't my fault. Of course, the spill was

caused by her reaction upon discovering that I was listening Meat Loaf's Bat Out of Hell III: The Monster Is Loose.

So far: Meat Loaf 1 Coffee 0

1/20/2007...12:30 pm PST... Somewhere over the Atlantic

Hmm...okay so there are some things about Emirates that is decent.
The seats are horrid, but at least there's a honest-to-goodness outlet just above the tray table. No cigarette-lighter type socket, a straight-up electrical outlet - 110V to boot!




The guy sitting next to me has a pretty interesting story. He's from a small town a few hours outside Chicago (and yes, he is a huge Bears fan!). This is the first time he's flying by himself, and this is his first flight outside the country. Everything is new for him, which is interesting - every time he asks me a question (To quote Jack Skellington from Nightmare Before Christmas - which you must see on 3-D - "What's this? What's this? I haven't got a clue?") and I have to think about stuff that I have taken for granted as I have become the typically jaded traveler, inured to the wonder of international air travel still has to bring.

A very cool little touch is that they have the instructions for flushing the toilet translated into Bengali. I guess they heard I was coming.

And, they have external cameras - one on the nose and the other underneath the plane, which you can monitor on your personal entertainment center. Though, you'd probably want to see objects on the Downward Camera rather than the Forward Camera. I wonder what happened to that flock of seagulls I saw coming towards us...





1/20/2007




JFK - It is nice to be back in New York, though I honestly didn't remember so much water when landing in JFK. It was nice to see that they finally had the AirTran up and working...the entire airport had been under construction since my parents lived in en-why-see.

Of course, it had to be on the outside of the terminal, and it was f...r...e...e...z...i...n...g!

Getting on to Emirates was a major hassle. First, we were told that we had to go back to get our boarding passes changed. Then we had to get our cabin bags weighed. Then the flight was delayed.

Then there was major gridlock when they tried to board by rows. As I told the wife, traveling with the wife is exactly how Air India was characterized on The Simpsons: We treat you like cattle. So. even though the queue for boarding was no longer valid given that they were boarding by rows, people refused to move, so it was hard to get o the gate when your row as called up.

By the time we got to our seats, there was no space for my bag. I had to store it in business class and was told by the very snooty stewardess that once we were up in the air I could no longer come into Business Class. That's all right. I told her, I won't be needing toilet paper, I had Bill O'Reilly's last book.

We had the worst seats possible - the middle seats in the middle row. There were many, many, many screaming children and flying time to Dubai was going to be around 12 hours.

Great, I can't wait!

1/18/2007




T-1 Day before I leave for India and what happens?!

I wake up and my back (of all things) has stiffened up so bad, that I can't even get out of bed.

The wife literally had to pick me up off the bed. Many prescription-strength painkillers, a tube of

ben-gay, and my father's old back-brace later I was wrapped up in a blanket, working from home, with

my wife's cat next to me, feeling like I had just aged about 60 years.

Oh yeah, I leave for India tomorrow...

Friday, January 19, 2007

The Final Phase Begins!

Let's Review:

It is now 2:30 pm PST.

I have the wedding invitations ready to go.

I need to mail them, go home, pack, get all the other stuff ready, and be ready by 9 pm.

Time keeps on tickin' (tickin'....tickin'....tickin'....tickin'....)

Into the future...

Another Problem!

It is now 12:30 pm on Friday, January 19th, 2007.

I just got a call from Oliver Deighton. His wife is listed as Kristen Deighton, and not as Kristen Parsi on the internal flights in India. Jet Airways won' t let her fly. They will have to cancel her ticket, issue her a new one (a different last name is considered a different person), charge Oliver and Her cancellation fees, and not even confirm they can get to Calcutta from New Delhi.

"Hello,

I just called Jet Airways. Kristen will not be able to fly until we change her ticket - her name his not Kristen Deighton - her name is Kristen Parsi.

We need to check this on ALL air and train tickets within India ASAP. I can not [sic] chnage her ticket because it was booked through a travel agent - also the fares are going up and we will [sic] inncur cancellation costs.

Here's what I know about our Delhi to Calcutta flight:

PNR is actually: MTAQOI
The old fare is 4,900, the new far is 5,550 and their is a 500 cancellation fee for the ticket.

The flight is Leaving 9:20am arriving 11:25am.

24 hour [sic] custoemr service is 011-91-22-3989-3333
but the travel agent must make the change."


Yikes!

Let the Madness Begin!

Okay, it is now 11:30 am on Friday, January 19th, 2007, less than a week away from the festivities.

Rosanne and I leave for the airport at (hopefully) 9 pm.

We haven't started packing.

We haven't arranged transportation to the airport.

We haven't arranged for our bills.

Our cat might be ill.

We haven't confirmed Oliver and Kristen's stay in New Delhi when they come in.

We haven't booked Jason's room in Bombay yet.

I'm not sure which of my Indian friends are (a) coming for the wedding; (b) need help with transportation; (c) need help finding a place to stay in Calcutta...sorry, Kolkata.

We still don't know how we are getting from Calicut to Kannur to Costa Malabari.

We haven't deposited our rent check for February yet.

We haven't gotten our traveler's cheques yet.

I haven't gotten the final amount for the bank transfer to India to pay the travel agent (Rita Aunty; Surya Sen's mother from Doon).

We haven't yet answered all of Rosanne's sister Linda's questions (she will be coming to Calcutta...sorry, Kolkata for two weeks!).

And I am still sending out wedding invitations!

I will try and recreate the madness of, oh let's say, from the beginning of the year. I will be doing this retrospectively, so try to pretend it's in real-time.

Oh My God! We haven't set our TiVo's yet...

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

The Basu Indian Wedding - Ceremony Details

Wedding Ceremonies

Sangeet Ceremony

Friday, January 26th, 2007 at 7:00 pm

The Saturday Club

7 Wood Street

Kolkata – 700 016

India

Phone: +91 (33) 22835 28586


Ayei Buro Bhat

Saturday, January 27th, 2007 at 12:00 pm

Villa Basu


Gaye Holood (Women Only)

Sunday, January 28th, 2007 at 10:00 am

Villa Basu


Luncheon

Sunday, January 28th, 2007 at 12:00 pm

Villa Basu


Wedding Ceremony

Sunday, January 28th, 2007 at 7:00 pm

Villa Basu


Basi Biye Lunch

Monday, January 29th, 2007 at 1:00 pm

Villa Basu


Wedding Reception and Dinner

Tuesday, January 30th, 2007 at 7:30 pm

The Royal Calcutta Golf Club

18 Golf Club Road

Kolkata – 700 033

Phone: +91 (33) 2473 1288